We Don't Stink No More!

Follow these directions and everything will be okay: First, throw some popcorn in the microwave. Next, call up the City of Westbrook's website, www.westbrookmaine.com and scroll down the homepage until you see a (lime? sea? pukey?) square entitled "Community Videos." See it? Great. Now retrieve your popcorn before it burns.

Okay, now that you've gotten your popcorn, click on the aforementioned square and pick from one of the four videos to watch. Lean back and enjoy Westbrook's sales pitch to people who don't live in Westbrook. Then come back here and read a couple thoughts about the vids.

Done already? Well here are those promised thoughts:

1. It sure is nice to be reminded of what Westbrook looks like with sunshine, green grass, and blue sky.

2. The voice-dubbers are definitely not from around here. At least they don't sound like it. Even the most articulate and enthusiastic among us don't pronounce "Westbrook" with such excitement and specific enunciation. Frankly, they're a little creepy.

3. A drinking game surrounding the number of times the dubbers refer to the "Westbrook Renaissance" would require an O'Douls version. Otherwise, Maine Med should expect a case of alcohol poisoning whenever these videos are consumed. C'mon, every city in this country is trying to claim a "renaissance." Why not be original and proclaim, I don't know, that "We don't stink no more!"?

4. Why is this feature buried in the bottom of the homepage? Shift it to a more viewer-friendly position on the homepage so the prospective Westbrookians it targets might actually, you know, see it. I'm a 'Brook blogger looking for material and it took me about a month to find it.

5. BruChu, Johnny O'Hara called and he wants his Kenny G cd back. Seriously, what's with the (insert derogatory adjective here) music playing in the background of the Big Man's Big Speech, not to mention throughout the videos?

6. I. Smell. A. Spoof.

- John C.L. Morgan