I'm not generally a big proponent of electoral fraud (it usually depends on whether my preferred pol benefits or not), but when it comes to the Portland Press Herald's 2008 Audience Readers' Poll, I have just four words: Stuff. That. Ballot. Box. In other words, vote early, vote often, and vote Westbrook. Here.
If I remember correctly, the print version of the newspaper had rules about only one entry per household. The online version I just sent you to, however, doesn't seem to have that regulation. Still, I recommend you play it safe and troll the Woodlawn Cemetery on Stroudwater Street to fill out the surveys on behalf of the Maynards, Blanches, Henrys, and Margarets laying in perpetual peace there. Be sure not to vote under names from the headstones in St. Hyacinth's Cemetery, though. I voted using those names last week.
- John C.L. Morgan
P.S. Tell your family, friends, and neighbors to do the same. How funny would it be if the poll were hijacked by rowdy rabble-rousers from Westbrook?
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