A Look at the Stroudwater Place Contract Zone

Here's a quick review of Stroudwater Place's Contract Zone, which was unanimously approved by the Westbrook City Council Monday night:

Permitted Uses
A list of thirty-nine permitted uses that range from adult daycare to a veterinary office. The definitions of fifteen of these uses can be found on pages six and seven in the online version of the contract zone.

Minimum Building Setbacks
The buildings must be at least twenty feet removed from the Westbrook arterial, twenty feet removed from side property lines, and two-hundred feet removed from Stroudwater Street.

Maximum Height
The maximum height of any building is seventy-five feet. However, it does note the maximum height is "exclusive of architectural features which may, upon approval of the design by the Planning Board during site plan review, extend above the roof of the building provided such architectural features do not increase habitable space."

Which I interpret to mean the building can be prettified more than seventy-five feet off the ground, but that extra height cannot be functional.

Maximum Gross Density
No more than 78% of the sixty-one acres can be devoted to the buildings' footprints or "impervious" surfaces.

Minimum Landscaping
At least 22% of the sixty-one acres must be devoted to landscaping. Stabilized grass is considered by the contract zone to be a "pervious" surface, so it would count toward the 22% landscaping requirement.

Now, if any astute reader can define stabilized grass, I'd appreciate it.

Lighting
Besides prohibiting lighting on architectural features higher than 75 feet, the lighting must be "installed so that no permanent direct lighting is emitted beyond the lot lines, except for special accent/event lighting."

Oh, and the lighting must be cutoff luminaire, which is fancy-speak for light in which "[t]he luminous intensity (in candelas) at or above an angle of 90° above nadir does not numerically exceed 2.5% of the luminous flux (in lumens) of the lamp or lamps in the luminaire, and the luminous intensity (in candelas) at or above a vertical angle of 80° above nadir does not numerically exceed 10% of the luminous flux (in lumens) of the lamp or lamps in the luminaire."

Got it? Neither did I, so I'll find out what cutoff luminaire lighting is and report back with a plainspoken explanation. In the meantime, discuss among yourselves the relative advantages and disadvantages of full cutoff luminaire, semicutoff luminaire, and just plain 'ol cutoff luminaire.

Buffer
A fifty-foot buffer consisting of berms and trees must exist between the development and Stroudwater Street, and breaks in the buffer are permitted only where there's an entrance for emergency vehicles.

Traffic Impact
Access to the development will only be available from the Westbrook arterial or the connector road that runs between the arterial and the development, there will not be an access point off Stroudwater Street, and the developers are required to fund a traffic impact study.

Parking
The contract zone features an eighteen-line explanation on the parking situation in which a few guidelines are articulated. Essentially, though, it's a long-winded way of saying "We'll cross those bridges when we get to them."

Sustainability
Some language about energy efficiency and low environmental impact, but this clause contains no measurable targets or specific requirements.

Phasing
An outdoor farmers' market and an alternative transportation depot must be constructed within two years after the first 100,000 square feet of commercial space is occupied. Moreover, a certificate of occupancy for 400,000 square feet of commercial space will not be granted until the construction of the farmers' market and tranportation center. Also, a certificate of occupancy for more than 800,000 square feet of commercial space will not be granted until an outdoor gathering place has been constructed. And a certificate of occupancy for more than 1.2 million square feet will not be granted until an indoor ice rink or similar civic center is constructed (note: this clause also gives the developers the option to simply contribute financially toward the construction of an off-site civic center or ice rink).

Etc.

• When all is said and done, the project will include retail, office space, hospitality and food, and sports and entertainment facilities. Each of these uses is numerically listed, but I am unsure of whether those numbers represent the sequence in which the uses will be developed or if they are simply arbitrary. Again, I'll get back to you.
• High quality public spaces (no definition or examples are provided) are required for both the individual phases of the project, as well as the completed project.
• The development will be constructed in such a way that parking will be centralized and building entrances will be located on internal streets.
• The Master Plan will deal with such issues as alternative transportation, trails, recreation uses, and other outdoor gathering places. Also, the ice rink will set aside 2.5 hours of free time each day for Westbrook residents and youth hockey teams.
• Dollar stores or any other sellers "distressed or salvaged merchandise and other retailers whose advertising, marketing practices or appearance, either interior or exterior, are not consistent with the kind of quality, destination-retail development described in the Vision Statement" are prohibited. Consider this the City's "No Strip Mall" insurance policy.

- John C.L. Morgan

Did You Know?

Did you know the Brackett House was once a station in the Underground Railroad during the Civil War?

Built by Zachariah Brackett around 1810 with bricks from his brickyard at Prides Corner, the house was torn down during Urban Renewal in the 1970s. It was located in what is now the plaza across the street from the row of businesses on Main Street (Freaky Bean, Full Court Press, etc.).

- John C.L. Morgan

City Council Approves Amendment, Zoning Change for Stroudwater Place

The City Council last night approved the first reading for an amendment to the City's Comprehensive Plan and approved the Stroudwater Place developers' request for a contract zone. The vote for the amendment was 6-1 (Gattine opposed), and the latter vote was unanimous. For more details, check out this Press Herald piece about the meeting. And to watch a replay of the meeting, which featured a wide spectrum of arguments and considerations, click here (the video's not up yet, but should be up shortly).

The City Council will hold the second readings of both the amendment and the contract zone on either Monday, October 27 or Monday, November 3. If both are approved, the project will go back to the Planning Board for site-plan review.

- John C.L. Morgan

Westbrook Politics: October 20- October 24, 2008

Monday, October 20
City Council workshop
Westbrook High School, Room 114
6:30p
FMI

City Council meeting
Westbrook High School, Room 114
7p
FMI

Tuesday, October 21
Finance Committee meeting
2 York Street
7:30a
FMI

- John C.L. Morgan

Westbrook Almanac: October 12- October 18, 2008

Week-to-Date:
High: 66F (October 12)
Low: 31F (October 18)
Precipitation: 0.15 inches
Previous Sunrise: 7:00a
Previous Sunset: 5:53p

Month-to-Date:
High: 73F (October 9)
Low: 31F (October 18)
Precipitation: 0.64 inches

Year-to-Date:
High: 88F (September 4)
Low: -5F (January 4)
Precipitation: 48.72 inches

Source: National Weather Service

- John C.L. Morgan

State Takes Over Dolley Farm and Rocky Hill Manor

According to the Bangor Daily News, the State of Maine has taken over seven retirement homes and assisted living centers in the state, including Westbrook's Dolley Farm Residential Care Home (98 Bridge Street) and Rocky Hill Manor (511 Bridge Street).

Citing mismanagement by Connecticut-based Eagle Landing Residential Care LLC, the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) requested Thursday $87,000 from the Legislature's Appropriations and Financial Affairs Committee to manage the facilities until a more permanent solution can be found.

Examples of corporate mismanagement include unpaid bills resulting in vendors ceasing to deliver food and supplies, including heating oil, propane gas, Internet service, and telephone service. Employees have had to "routinely" use their personal credit cards to pay for such things as food delivery and phone service, while their workers' compensation and liability insurance policies have been canceled because of nonpayment. And Eagle Landing owes about $400,000 in unpaid taxes and about $794,000 in overpayments from the state's Medicaid billing computer system, while their vehicles used to transports residents to medical appointments have either been repossessed or are threatened with repossession.

- John C.L. Morgan

Web Surfer Beware

Courtesy of Marie Claire (real men read MC), I came across Flickr.com's feature that organized posted photographs by location.

So being the intrepid and provincial correspondent that I am, I looked up photos associated with the fair city of Westbrook (type in 'Westbrook, Maine' in the 'Taken in' box). And let's just say Heidi Julavits's observations that Maine is made up primarily of (half-naked) obese cat-lovers seems accurate, at least as far as my very quick tour of Flickr is concerned.

Please excuse me while I shower.

- John C.L. Morgan

American Journal One-Liners

An unspecified number of the Westbrook firefighters have been suspended or demoted as a result of co-workers' complaints.

Stroudwater Place on the City Council's agenda for Monday.

Westbrook-based weekly shopper The Wise Guide published its last issue this week to culminate a 35-year run.

- John C.L. Morgan

Quote, Unquote

"Sometimes you know more about them than you wish you did; sometimes you know less and make up the rest."

- North Haven resident Herb Parsons on the intimacy (or lack thereof) that exists among neighbors on small Maine islands. The quote was lifted from a WGME profile of congressional candidate Chellie Pingree.

- John C.L. Morgan

Gattine Addresses Project Labor Agreements

City Councilor Drew Gattine's e-mail to me concerning Ray Richardson's complaints that the Westbrook City Council may be stalling the Stroudwater Place in order to force a Project Labor Agreement upon developer Jason Snyder:

"I saw your post today about Stroudwater Place and Ray's comments last week. I don't really even know what a PLA is. I've never heard such a concept discussed in the context of this project or any other. It isn't an issue as far as I am concerned."

- John C.L. Morgan

The Hamlet

On Location: The Hamlet

According to Bubbles from the Canadian mockumentary "Trailer Park Boys," life in a trailer park can be summed up in "five little words": Liquor, whores, cigarettes, mustard, and balogna.

Now, my adolescence in Westbrook's trailer park, The Hamlet, certainly featured plenty of mustard and balogna. And it even included a cigarette (though if my mother asks, I made up that last detail only to strengthen my street cred). But I can't speak much about the other two words on Bubble's list, at least not when discussing my childhood (zing!).

Instead, I remember The Hamlet as the site of a wonderful childhood and a place that generates nostalgia whenever I consider it for any length of time. So, without further ado, here's a brief retrospective--and undoubtedly romantic--tour of my childhood at The Hamlet:

The Field- In a more bucolic setting, this patch of green space atop Windsor Drive might've been referred to as a quad, instead of simply The Field (which, by the way, should not be confused with the other The Field, which I'll explain in a bit). Nonetheless, it was dubbed The Field and its simple functions matched its simple moniker: Its interior served as the site of rowdy football games, while its exterior marked the running track where everyone battled for second place behind Tommy Murray. Put simply, The Field was every boy's reward for hiking to the park's sole bus stop each morning.

The Mailbox- Closely related to The Field both in geography and function, The Mailbox was the bank of postal boxes at which The Hamlet's aspiring scholars (think you'd ever see those words crammed together in a single sentence?) gathered each weekday morning while waiting for the school bus. Matt Doucette entertained us during the winter by licking the outside of the boxes and peeling his tongue off their metal exterior. And the fact that it also served as the one-stop place for mail in the entire trailer park made the personal mail slot at our house on (sniff) Monroe Avenue a revelation. (What do you mean we don't have to drive to our mailbox?)

The Clubhouse- Though I recall numerous Cub Scout meetings and Pinewood Derbies taking place in the park's clubhouse, my most poignant memory of the gathering place was when my father won the Portland City Championship chess tournament for the first time there in 1990. That and a couple Halloween parties in which one of the attractions was to plunge your hand into a jar containing a slimy conconction that remains a secret to this day.

The Hill- About halfway down the sloping Windsor Drive, you have to take a quick right onto St. James Street in order to appreciate The Hill. Thirteen years after the fact, The Hill seems only a tad bit more intimidating than an ant hill. But in our pre-teen minds, The Hill was the nastiest sledding hill in town, made only more dangerous by our parents' constant warnings against letting our momentum carry us under the tires of a car gliding on St. James.

The Woods- Not to be confused with the other The Woods--again, I'll explain later--The Woods were a stretch of suburban forest at the crest of The Hill. Forts made from sticks and brush were constructed, destructed, and constructed again in The Woods. And if we were especially daring, we'd hop the barbed-wire fence surrounding the block of farm land that was sandwiched between Saco Street and the trailer park. Knowing the $300,000 homes that make up the Victoria Heights subdivision are now located on the same spot where we once threw cow patties at one another never ceases to make me chuckle. That, and the memory of my best friend Walter Burney shooting my index finger with a BB gun while I held up a plastic cup for target practice.

Bond Street- After you drive by The Hill on St. James Street, take a left-turn onto Bond Street, which was named in honor of Bond, James Bond. This, in my modest opinion, was the street on which to live in The Hamlet. My family and I lived at 247, Walter lived across the street, and the Edwards brothers (Ryan and Kevin) lived near the end of the street. When we weren't playing, er, field hockey (we played hockey in the Edwards's side yard, but we used real hockey sticks, tennis balls, and garbage cans as goalposts), we were playing basketball at my trailer. And when we weren't playing basketball at my trailer, we were playing b-ball at the Edwards'. Or maybe we were playing pick-sticks (think: Capture the Flag) around the Burney's trailer. That is, of course, when Walter wasn't jumping off the roof of his trailer onto a comforter (logic wasn't always our strength). Anyway, you get the point: Bond Street was where it was at. Especially if you wanted to get sworn at by a telephone operator responsible for interpreting phone calls for our deaf neighbor's deaf friend (it's a long story, so remind me to tell you about when we're sharing an edible shot at Mill Side.)

The Woods- Not to be confused with the other The Woods--I've explained those woods already--The Woods at the end of Bond Street featured a lot of the same activities--building forts, tearing down forts, re-building forts--as the other The Woods, except these The Woods had a stream that provided ample opportunity for one of our favorite pasttimes: Catching frogs. The fact that these woods now have a "Danger: Restricted Property" sign attached to a tree nearby gives me pause.

The Playground- If you take a left at the end of Bond Street and drive beyond the end of Windsor Drive, you'll see a field that features nothing of interest. Once upon a time, though, it featured the best playground in the park. It was also the site of the seventeenth-most embarassing moments of my life: My first girlfriend (I can't bring myself to type her name, the wound is still that fresh) and my friends ganged up on me to give me a ho-down and therefore display my red and blue tighty whities for all The Hamlet to see. It was also there that I heard my first dirty joke involving tuna, maggots, and, well, never mind.

The Field- If The Hamlet had a Mecca to which a pilgrimmage must be made, it would be The Field (not to be confused with the, all together now, other The Field). Located between Bond Street and Windsor Drive, The Field was surrounded by a moat-like gully of rust-colored water (I think it was water, but looking back, am not so sure) that stained hundreds of white socks and ruined dozens of sneakers. Featuring a broad head and a narrowing peninsula-like base that jutted into the gully, The Field was by far the place at which we logged the most hours. Baseball played with tennis balls and wooden bats was our game of choice, but we also enjoyed the occasional game of tackle football, especially during football season (one of our cohorts, Kenny Wendrick, always insisted on being Vincent Brisby in our games, which is funny if you know anything about the New England Patriots). And during the summer, we'd play in The Field from the early morning until early evening, with the only breaks coming when our parents forced us to join the families for meals. We'd even play football in The Field during the winter, despite the crusty shell of the powder scraping our exposed ankles and wrists when we ran or tumbled to the ground.

- John C.L. Morgan
(The Hamlet alumni, '95)

Richardson: Shenanigans Marring Stroudwater Place Process

Ray Richardson, the host of WLOB's Morning News radio show, weighed in last week on the latest developments concerning Stroudwater Place.

Besides criticizing Councilor Drew Gattine's apparent conflict of interest (Gattine lives across the street from where the development would be located), Richardson worries the Council is delaying its approval until a Project Labor Agreement (PLA) can be forced upon developer Jason Snyder, thereby making the construction work on the project open only to unionized workers.

- John C.L. Morgan

County Road Eats

Haven's Candies gave out free candy at their County Road shop during their twelfth annual Columbus Day open house earlier today. And Silvery Moon Creamery, which is located at County Road's Smiling Hill Farm, participated in the 2008 edition of Open Creamery Day yesterday.

- John C.L. Morgan

Hallelujah!

I just discovered this weekend that the fine folks at York Street have posted past City Council, School Board, and Planning Board meetings on the Internet.

So if you don't hear from me for a couple days, you'll know what I'm up to. (No, I won't be watching grass grow...at least not literally.)

- John C.L. Morgan

Quote of the Day: Heidi Julavits

"In Maine, meanwhile, 2005 was business as usual--just a lot of fat people hanging out in the rain with their cats, drinking coffee brandy and trying, without cheating, to kill a bear."

- Heidi Julavits in her essay "Maine: The Way Life Should Be," which is part of the new anthology State by State: A Panoramic View of America. Julevits is a co-editor of The Believer and the daughter of a former English teacher at Westbrook High School.

- John C.L. Morgan

(Hat Tip: Portland Psst!)

P.S. As an aside, Julavits's quote and part of her essay are factually incorrect. She states "it's illegal to bait bears with donuts and then shoot them" in Maine, but such behavior was legal in 2005 and remains legal to this day. Maine voters rejected a referendum question that would've banned bear-baiting in a November 2004 vote, 53% to 47%. So we Mainers are wet and fat, do like cats, and do chug lots of Allen's. But, legally speaking, we didn't (and still don't) need to avoid cheating by baiting a bear. Baiting, after all, was (and is) the rule.

P.P.S. Here's a relatively recent video spoof of bear-baiting.

Westbrook Almanac: October 5- October 11, 2008

Week-to-Date:
High: 73F (October 9)
Low: 35F (October 7)
Precipitation: 0.06 inches
Previous sunrise: 6:51a
Previous sunset: 6:04p

Month-to-Date:
High: 73F (October 9)
Low: 35F (October 4)
Precipitation: 0.49 inches

Year-to-Date:
High: 88F (September 4)
Low: -5F (January 4)
Precipitation: 48.57 inches

Source: National Weather Service

- John C.L. Morgan

Quote of the Day: Brad Butler

"He was a very interesting guy, small-town guy, who came out of nowhere and set the tone for guys like Bing Crosby, Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra. He was the first popular singer that caused women to throw their undergarments on stage."

- Brad Butler, an account executive for Promotion in Motion, on Westbrook's late crooner and actor, Rudy Vallee.

For what it's worth, Butler's spot-on with the latter observation: I spent at least ten minutes sweeping granny panties off the Riverbank Park bandstand after the public screening of The Palm Beach Story this past August.

Okay, I would have spent ten minutes doing so if people actually, you know, showed up.

- John C.L. Morgan

Be Careful What You Doodle

The New Republic magazine has unearthed a page of mundane doodles vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin scratched on the back of a budget worksheet while serving as a city councilor in Wasila, Alaska in 1996. The doodles, which capture Palin's brainstorming for her subsequent campaign for mayor of the town, are proof that the slightest local action today may be mined for national attention tomorrow.

Anyway, a round at Mill Side Tavern for the reader who comes with the best (read: most entertaining) guess about the doodling habits of Westbrook's city councilors.

- John C.L. Morgan

BruChu

On Location: Chuluda as Democrat

Mayor Bruce Chuluda is a fine democrat.

But before Westbrook Republicans get their panties in a bunch, let me qualify that I'm describing him with the small-d connotation and not reporting that when he runs for re-election next November (as he said he will), he will do so on the Democratic ticket. I am, in other words, describing how the mayor's administration has greatly expanded Westbrook residents' access to municipal government.

There is, of course, his, uh, scintillating call-in show he hosts each month on the ratings juggernaut that is Local Access television. But more important, BruChu continues to open his office for three hours on the first Saturday of each month. And back in February, he began hosting informal public hearings in each municipal ward, one of which I attended last week.

When I arrived in one of the cafeterias at Wescott Junior High School last Tuesday evening to attend the mayor's meeting with Ward 1, I was pleasantly surprised by the number of people in attendance. I had expected about a half-dozen attendees, so I was heartened by the appearance of about fifteen fellow geeks concerned residents. Well, I should say that I was heartened by the turnout until I realized an overwhelming majority of the attendees were either elected officials (Mayor Chuluda and City Councilor John O'Hara) or municipal department heads. Which is great if there's an audience for them with which to engage. But, considering there were only about a handful of us residents, the meeting couldn't help but resemble a staff meeting with an audience. The lack of participation among Westbrook residents was even more disappointing considering the potential for information-gathering and the potential for probing that existed at the ward meeting. For example, Jason Snyder, the developer proposing Stroudwater Place, attended the meeting and was prepared to answer questions. Yet, unlike last night's more formal public hearing, there was no crowd available to address concerns or to have questions answered in this more informal setting. And City Administrator Jerre Bryant's sales pitch for the re-use of Wescott Junior High School took on the tone of a practice run since the lack of eyeballs and ears made the presentation inconsequential. Put simply, the informal nature of the mayor's meetings with each ward and the access an attendee has to the movers-and-shakers in Westbrook government make the meetings the best (or worst?) kept secret in the city. Well, except maybe for the mayor's open office hours.

On the first Saturday of each month, Mayor Chuluda opens his office from 9a-12p and welcomes all comers. There isn't a secretary screening participants or a receptionist explaining a conflict of scheduling. You simply show up, and if the mayor's not already talking with another visitor, you walk into his office and let him know what's up. According to Chuluda, some show up to chew the spruce gum. And others visit his office to bend his ear about, say, the cavernous potholes plaguing their street. What's important, though, is that the highest elected official in the city is available to listen to concerns, recommendations, and feedback.

And what's equally important is that residents become more involved in that give-and-take.

- John C.L. Morgan

City Council Tables Stroudwater Place Vote

According to the PPH, the City Council tabled the votes for an amendment to the Comprehensive Plan and a request for a contract zone, both of which are needed for the proposed Stroudwater Place development to move forward.

Citing Councilor Joyce's absence (she broke an ankle over the weekend), the Council rescheduled the votes for Monday, October 20.

Update: WMTW has a brief write-up and video from the event. Anchor Tory Ryden is unable to hide her indignation for the Council's inaction (besides introducing the story with dripping disbelief, she scoffs off-camera about Susan Suzanne Joyce's inability to attend the meeting because of a broken ankle), and reporter Will Lewis refers to the project's cost as $300, instead of three-hundred million dollars. To be fair to Lewis, both numerals do include a '3' and some zeroes.

- John C.L. Morgan

Food in the 'Brook, Continued

Press Herald food critic N.L. English describes Siam Square as an "exceptional Thai restaurant in Maine." So I'll describe English's review as the latest installment in Westbrook Foodie, 2.0.

- John C.L. Morgan

Burden: Support Stroudwater Place

(Editor's Note: The Westbrook City Council hosts a public hearing devoted to the proposed Stroudwater Place development tonight at 7p, while also voting on an amendment to the City's comprehensive plan and a contract zone proposed by the developers. Westbrook resident and urban planner Laura Burden writes why the City Council should approve the Comprehensive Plan amendment and the contract zone.)

I am particularly excited by this proposed development. It plans to:

• Create 1,200-1,400 construction jobs and an additional 5-6,000 permanent jobs.
• Generate $3-5 million in annual property taxes for Westbrook.
• Make Westbrook a premier destination for travelers and businesses, while providing a gathering place for the community.

Sandwiched between Stroudwater Street and the Westbrook Arterial, the project proposes a quality mix of retail, office, and public space that makes sense. It’s backed by solid market research showing that this type of place brings business and customers. This type of project will generate business for the local economy. It is unlike anything we have had before, and it has something for all ages in all seasons. Moreover, this project is environmentally-sound, has an appropriate density and height, includes a great mix of uses (including premier retail), plans to utilize multi-modal transportation, and has beautiful central open spaces for community gathering. Put simply, it’s a planner's dream, especially since the developers ask nothing from the City but a zone change, while bringing 5-6,000 permanent jobs, 1,200-1,400 construction jobs, and $3-5 million in annual tax revenue.

Just imagine what the City can do with the tax revenue! Earmarking even a small percentage would allow for the purchase of open space, ball fields, river docks, and countless amenities. The more density the City allows, and the lower landscape factor, the more money the City gets. Moreover, this development is also unique in that is asks for no tax break from the City (no TIF).

As a planner, I can also tell you that this project idea will make Westbrook infinitely more attractive to future customers, potential residents, tourists, and new businesses. So it isn’t just the immediate jobs that this development will create, but also what will be created because of it. The development team isn’t seeking to overbuild and squeeze the life out of the beautiful site, but rather build so people will have a distinctive pleasurable experience. We could have attractive retail and office space, different types of recreation, central public plazas, a farmers' market, and parade grounds. Where in Westbrook is suitable for large outdoor events? Riverbank Park is beautiful, but not very large. Grassy parade grounds along Stroudwater Street that we could also park on for special events would add a dimension to the town that we don’t have.

Jason Snyder, a Westbrook native, is proposing this development. He has assembled a team of professionals, many from Maine, who have put together a carefully considered proposal for his land and our city. The design team has 35 years of experience creating this type of successful mixed-use marketplace. And Mr. Snyder has demonstrated his concern for the area by turning down several proposals from businesses less desirable for Westbrook. Instead, he seeks to add some economic muscle to his hometown. And given the economy, what better time to do so?

Finally, don’t forget how unusual this project is: It is owned by the developer, financed privately--even in this market--and would be located next to an awaiting highway exit and close to other retail zones. It would allow development on private property, which would instantly become a public amenity. And though this parcel is currently zoned for high-density office space, there is too much vacant office space on the market. So this project seeks to build less intensively on the site, but with a range of amenities that we can all enjoy. This project adds to our City significantly, uses sound environmental principles, great design, and will give us jobs and taxes.

The public hearing for this project is tonight at 7 PM in Westbrook High School, Room #114. Please come out and let your voice be heard: Support Stroudwater Place.

Westbrook can grow and can grow smart. So let's say "Yes!"

- Laura Burden

Westbrook Politics: October 6- October 10, 2008

Monday, October 6
Westbrook City Council meeting
Westbrook High School, Room 114
7p
FMI

- John C.L. Morgan

Westbrook Almanac: September 28- October 4, 2008

Week-to-Date:
High: 71F (September 29)
Low: 39F (October 4)
Precipitation: 0.43 inches
Previous Sunrise: 6:43a
Previous Sunset: 6:16p

Month-to-Date:
High: 71F (September 29)
Low: 39F (October 4)
Precipitation: 0.43 inches

Year-to-Date:
High: 88F (September 4)
Low: -5F (January 4)
Precipitation: 48.41 inches

Source: National Weather Service

- John C.L. Morgan

Just Win, Baby

Despite losing to Bonny Eagle last Friday night, 42-0, the Westbrook High School football team has been declared the victor in the contest.

- John C.L. Morgan

Worst Classified Ad. Ever.

Even though I cleaned up the horrendous grammar to make it legible, this Craigslist ad for a 1988 GMC truck out of Etna, Maine wins the award for the worst classified ad ever:

If you are a tire-kicker, don't even call me. This truck is worth more than
this ($300). Four-wheel drive works. Engine runs good. It has a very
tiny drip that is landing on exaust and makes engine set on fire.
The other day I set under it for over a half-hour and could not see where
the drip was coming from, so I hauled a cord of wood home, which was about 20
miles. When I turned into my driveway, the engine set on fire.

[Emphasis and grammatical editing mine.]

The immediate dismissal of the discriminating car-buyer initially caught my eye and was made only more hilarious with the ad-poster's, um, frank appraisal of the truck.

- John C.L. Morgan

Quote, Unquote: Marion Dana

"My uncle, W.K. Dana, was prejudiced in some ways. He hoped that when he got to Heaven, there would be only Republicans and Congregationalists there."

- Marion Dana on her uncle Woodbury Kidder Dana, the founder of the Dana Warp Mill's yarn-producing operation. The quote was originally published in a 1976 edition of the Westbrook American, the local newspaper now known as the American Journal.

Election '08: Tim Driscoll's Favorite Things

Tim Driscoll is a Democrat seeking re-election to District #126 in the Maine House of Representatives. Click here to see if Driscoll will be on your ballot on Tuesday, November 4.

Favorite actor and actress
Mel Gibson and Nicole Kidman
Favorite band
Fleetwood Mac
Favorite fiction book
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Favorite magazine
Downeast
Favorite movie
Braveheart
Favorite radio station
WYNZ
Favorite song
“Won’t Back Down,” Tom Petty
Favorite television show
Hardball with Chris Matthews
Favorite Web Site
Westbrook Diarist
Favorite writer
Edgar Allen Poe
Favorite historical politician
John F. Kennedy
Favorite living politician
George Mitchell
Favorite Maine politician
George Mitchell
Favorite newspaper
Bangor Daily News
Favorite part of being a candidate
Meeting many folks in town that ordinarily I would never know.
Favorite period of American history
Civil War
Favorite philosopher
Bertrand Russell
Favorite political web site
PolitickerME
Favorite automobile
Toyota Tacoma PreRunner
Favorite day trip
Home to bed after a busy 12-hour night in the ER.
Favorite food or drink
Guinness
Favorite hobby
Puttering around the yard.
Favorite piece of clothing
My Reef sandals.
Favorite place in Westbrook
Olmsted Field during a Friday night football game.
Favorite restaurant
Depends on what I’m craving at the time.
Favorite season
Fall
Favorite sport
Whatever my daughters happen to be playing in any given season.
Favorite vacation spot
Ireland

(Editor's Note: Tim Driscoll's opponent, Kevin Crocker, did not respond to my e-mails.)

- John C.L. Morgan

Brazier's Barber Shop

On Location: Brazier's Barber Shop

As a service for their undoubtedly cultured readers, Esquire printed a tongue-in-cheek piece entitled "How to Talk with a Barber." Besides a sidebar listing various questions you can ask the barber to avoid the awkwardness that can sometimes creep over you as you sit in the barber chair ("If you had my hair, what would it look like?"), the magazine gave a couple examples of what is usually said to a barber and a couple counterweight examples of what should be said to combat the bad 'do brought on by miscommunication. For example, instead of saying simply "Just a trim, buddy" you're supposed to say "Take off a little length and give me a lot of loose, disheveled layers." And instead of asking how Nosferatu would have his hair done, you're supposed to tell the barber to cut it with "[a] lot texture, with choppy, short layers."

All of which is useful advice--unless you're a regular at Brazier's Barber Shop.

That's because the conversation in the Main Street shop is effortless; a small mental pouch of inane conversation-starters ("Whatever happened to mousse?") is not required. Nor would a Brazier Boy dare to refer to the three Matrons of the Razor as "buddy." And, of course, thanks to the shop's unique Roladex, even the most laconic of Westbrook's fine men (or girls looking for men's haircuts) can trust their specifications will be met with little negotiation.

- John C.L. Morgan

P.S. The price of a haircut will go up to $12 starting tomorrow, so I got my $11 haircut (#2 all-over) on the last day it was available--mark this day in history. Anyway, the last time owner Dianne Brazier raised the price was October 1, 2005.

P.P.S. Read Christopher Benfey's essay "Close Shave: The Barber and the Meaning of Life," an excellent cultural history of barbers, particularly when they had easy access to an exposed jugular.

The Windows on the Bus Go Crack, Crack, Crack

When students from Poland, Maine were bused to Westbrook High School in the late-1990s and early-2000s (the Androscoggin County town was constructing a high school of its own at the time), their school buses--which were decked out with tinted windows and a spoiler--were a cause of envy, but also supplied fodder for ridicule for us Paper City kids.

The last laugh is on us, though, considering Westbrook may be one step closer to requiring bullet-proof (BB-proof?) school buses.

On a serious note, this is not the first time a Westbrook school bus carrying young children has attracted a dangerous projectile, though my memory is foggy when it comes to the particulars. So here's to a media outlet fleshing out this story with a little background.

- John C.L. Morgan

Election '08: Ann Peoples's Favorite Things

Ann Peoples is a Democrat seeking re-election to District #125 in the Maine House of Representatives.

Favorite actor and actress
Tracy & Hepburn (I'm just an old romantic).
Favorite band or musician
The Moody Blues
Favorite fiction book
The Name of the Rose
Favorite magazine
Discovery.
Favorite movie
The Women
Favorite radio station
MPBN.
Favorite song
"Joy to the World," Three Dog Night
Favorite television show
"Star Trek"
Favorite Web Site
www.hgtv.com
Favorite writer
Carl Hiaasen
Favorite historical politician
Dolley Madison. She may not have been elected but she sure was political, and she saved the silver!
Favorite living politician
I honestly can't say that I have one.
Favorite Maine politician
Margaret Chase Smith
Favorite newspaper
Boston Globe
Favorite non-fiction book
Right now I'm reading Slavery by Another Name by Douglas Blackmon and am blown away!
Favorite part of being a candidate
Talking to all kinds of people
Favorite period of American history
Revolutionary War
Favorite philosopher
My grandmother
Favorite political magazine
I'm not a big magazine reader, but I've kind of liked Reason.
Favorite political Web Site
www.politico.com
Favorite automobile
My blue Subaru.
Favorite day trip
Shopping with my daughters, daughters-in-law, and granddaughter.
Favorite food or drink
Home-made mac and cheese
Favorite hobby
Crosswords
Favorite piece of clothing
Sloppy old sweats
Favorite place in Westbrook
My piece of the riverbank on Garfield.
Favorite restaurant
Hey, we're lucky to have a bunch of really good places to eat in Westbrook, and I love them all!
Favorite season
Fall
Favorite sport
Football
Favorite vacation spot
Anywhere my 5 grandchildren are.

- John C.L. Morgan

Westbrook Politics: September 29- October 3, 2008

Monday, September 29
Accounts and Claims Committee meeting
Westbrook High School, Room 114
6:30p
FMI

City Council meeting
Westbrook High School, Room 114
7p
FMI

Public Safety Committee meeting
Westbrook High School, Room 114
Immediately following City Council meeting
FMI

Tuesday, September 30
Mayor's Ward One Public Meeting
Wescott Junior High School Cafeteria
6:30p

- John C.L. Morgan

Song of the Week

The song of the week is Moses Atwood's "Love, Whiskey, and Wine."

- John C.L. Morgan

Westbrook Almanac: September 21- September 27, 2008

Week-to-Date:
High: 74F (September 21)
Low: 41F (September 24)
Precipitation: 3.48 inches
Previous Sunrise: 6:35a
Previous Sunset: 6:29p

Month-to-Date:
High: 88F (September 4)
Low: 36F (September 20)
Precipitation: 9.71 inches

Year-to-Date:
High: 88F (September 4)
Low: -5F (January 4)
Precipitation: 46.95 inches

Source: National Weather Service

- John C.L. Morgan

Top 10 Local CDs: September 15- September 21, 2008

Here are the Top 10 Local CDs for the week of September 15- September 21, courtesy of the Portland Phoenix:

1. Dead Season, "When Everything's Lost..."
2. The Wrecking, "A New Abolition"
3. Dead Season, "Rise"
4. Dominic and the Lucid, "Season of the Sun"
5. Rustic Overtones, "Long Division"
6. Cambiata, "To Heal"
7. Darien Brahms, "Number 4"
8. Prospect Hill, "For the Lovers and the Haters and the Dead"
9. Jerks of Grass, "Come on Home"
10. Paranoid Social Club, "Axis III & I"

The list was compiled from Bull Moose Music.

- John C.L. Morgan

Change

Considering only about a quarter of the the top twenty companies in the 2007 Fortune 500 inhabited a similar spot in the 1980 edition of that index, it should not come as a surprise that businesses expand and contract, come and go.

Still, my visit to the Westbrook Historical Society this morning was a stark reminder of the fluidity of businesses: Of the twenty-three firms that advertised in a 1980 newspaper supplement provided by the Westbrook Downtown Businessmen's Association (an organization whose title is yet another sign of how times change), only four remain in Westbrook.

These are Harmon's and Barton's Florist (which evidently has undergone a name change since 1980, as they advertised simply as Barton's Florist in the supplement), Sportsman's Hardware, Hub Furniture, and Rivermeadow Golf Course.

- John C.L. Morgan

Lack of Chlorophyll Certainly Not, Um, Borophyll.

Before you take a foliage tour, check out the state's website devoted to the yellow, orange, and red leaves.

Besides featuring a statewide Foliage Report and an assortment of fact sheets and FAQs, the site also boasts sublime video footage of last fall from the Lakes Region, the Midcoast, and Millinocket.

How disappointing to know the eminent philosopher Billy Madison got it all wrong.

- John C.L. Morgan

Election '08: Nick S. McGee's Proust Questionnaire

Nick McGee is a Republican seeking election to District #9 in the Maine Senate. Click here to see if McGee will be on your ballot on Tuesday, November 4.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A Sunday drive in the fall to go apple picking with my wife and daughter.
What is your current state of mind?
Content.
Which living person do you most admire?
My mother and father.
What is your greatest fear?
Losing my family.
What is your greatest extravagance?
A large TV.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Selfishness.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My smile and happy-go-lucky personality.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Nothing in particular--I am happy with the person I am.
Which living person do you most despise?
I don't despise anyone--hatred accomplishes nothing.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
All of them are important.
What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My nose is a bit large...not too bad though.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would be better at balancing my time.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Strength.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Compassion.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
The word "that" shows up often in my writing.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Play the guitar.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My wife and daughter.
When and where were you happiest?
My honeymoon stands out.
Where would you like to live?
Australia.
What is your most treasured possession?
My grandmother's cribbage board.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
To lose faith and to feel unloved.
What is your favorite occupation?
One of my first jobs as a line cook at a local restaurant.
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Superman.
Who are your heroes in real life?
First responders, soldiers and charity workers.
What do you most value in your friends?
Honesty and openness.
What is it that you most dislike?
Rude and inconsiderate people.
What is your motto?
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

(Editor's Note: Nick McGee's opponent, Joe Brannigan, did not respond to my e-mails.)

- John C.L. Morgan

Westbrook on OpenMaineGov.org

In their latest attempt to make Maine government more transparent (see MaineVotes.org), the Maine Heritage Policy Center has launched MaineOpenGov.org, a new website that tracks state spending (more info about the site can be learned here.)

I haven't spent a lot of time browsing the site, but I've already found a useful feature: The site's ability to track vendor payments from the State of Maine to inviduals, businesses, or contractors by city.

So whether you want to learn about the $81 the Maine Department of Environmental Protection paid A-1 Lockbox Inc. (963 Main Street) for miscellaneus repairs in 2007 or about the $1.2 million payment by the Maine Department of Transportation to HNTB (2 Thomas Drive) for consultation services in 2006, this site is for you.

Be prepared for many minutes of virtual combing, though. According to the site, Westbrook-based individuals, businesses, and contractors have netted $11.5 million from Augusta since 2006.

- John C.L. Morgan

Did You Know?

Did you know the City of Westbrook moved its offices from Main Street to York Street in the fall of 1995?

After selling the former City Hall at 790 Main Street (think Maine Bank & Trust) for $235,000, the City bought the building currently housing City Hall from the York Insurance Co. of Maine (hence the address's York Street moniker) for $950,100.

- John C.L. Morgan

Self-Worth

According to Website Outlook, the net worth of this blog is $1,649.80.

Which is $25 too high now that I've snorted milk onto my keyboard.

- John C.L. Morgan

Hat tip: Media Mutt

Fine Print

Though the City of Westbrook's agreement with Casella on recycling received prominent attention in today's PPH, there was an equally intriguing piece of Westbrook news, even if it was buried in today's Business section.

According to the brief write-up, Idexx announced yesterday that they're now planning to "invest more than $168 million into its Westbrook facility over a 20-year period," a figure which would represent a 31% increase over its initial projected investment of $128 million in 2006.

Considering Idexx had halted its expansion on Eisenhower Drive in early spring and that a company spokesman had ruminated about there being "lots of business parks in the Greater Portland area," could such a bullish investment be a hint of a resolution to the Idexx-Pike conflict? Or perhaps this is an attempt by Idexx to increase the size of the carrot dangling in front of York Street's eyeballs.

- John C.L. Morgan

Full Disclosure: My wife is employed by Idexx.